There is always a Third Way

December 15th, 2006

What do you do when you don't like what your dreams are telling you?

Often your waking mind wholeheartedly goes along with the dream logic. But there are times when what the dream seems to be suggesting does not sit well with the dreamer.

The two obvious options are that you can ignore the dream or follow the dream logic and hope for the best.

Or you can mull over your dream and see what other choices come up because there is always a third alternative.

In a previous column, we discussed the idea that dreams could mean their opposite: Whatever the dream appeared to telling you could either be exactly on target or exactly off target. That gives you two choices. A third alternative is to allow these two opposites to fight it out, so to speak, in the back of your mind.

In this example, Brad thought of two opposite meanings for his dream. Neither felt comfortable to him. He slept on the matter, hoping for another dream. A few mornings later he awoke with a third meaning.

Brad's Dream

I dream I am standing on top of a mound. There are pebbles, all around. I kick some of them and they go bouncing away. Lower down there are fallen, broken statues. I suddenly realize that if a stone hits the statue it comes back to life and will attack me. It's a "Night of the Living Dead" kind of situation.

He knew at once that the dream was linked to his reconnection with old friends from the '60s. He was going to a reunion and would meet people he hadn't talked to for 20 years. There were unresolved past arguments that had been weighing on his mind.

Brad immediately saw the meaning that he should not throw stones because that could bring old conflicts back to life. In waking life, he should refrain from rehashing old conflicts. This was good advice but somehow it didn't feel that was what the dream was saying.

The exact opposite meaning would be that he should bring back to life these broken, fallen statues. That seemed to mean he should revive the conflicts and confront them. That was definitely not Brad's style, but that it did make him aware that others may very well want to confront him.

A Third Way

After mulling this over for several days, Brad awoke one morning without a dream but with the realization that he had a third option: He could go over to the fallen statues and carefully lift them upright. The aggression in kicking them with a stone could be transformed into a friendly and meaningful touch. Up to that point, Brad had only seen that the statues were a threat to him if he revived them. The idea that he could attempt to create a friendly relationship was new.

Why this dream is important

The third alternative did not come from Brad trying to think about his waking problems directly. His waking intellectual powers had already been applied exhaustively to his situation with his old friends. That's precisely when dream work comes in.

Brad could have imagined many alternatives to the one he chose. In the logic of the dream he might have needed to do an archeological dig to get underneath the statues. He might have organized help to raise them. He might have decided to give up and walk away. All of these suggest different waking life options.

Out of the myriad of possibilities, the one that came into Brad's mind was to gently raise the statues. That's quite specific. The other suggestions I have made here are also particular, but they suggest different approaches to the waking life problem.

Summary

The ideal situatio is when you can trust that the solution to the dream's logic is also an excellent approach to the waking life problem.

But often the dream only illustrates the problem or else suggests solutions that are impractical. By "wrestling" with the two opposites, you can find more meaningful approach.

The beauty of dream logic is that it allows us to resolve waking life problems and see them in a fresh new light.

DIAL-IN DREAM GROUPS

The Monday telephone conference call continues.

Whether you live far away or close by, a phone group allows you to get a sense of dream work in a very convenient way. With this new work, I hope to communicate the pleasure and the excitement of dream work to many people. 

• Day: Monday December 18th
• Time: 5pm-6pm Pacific Daylight Time
• Dial-in Number: 620-782-2200 (Kansas)
• Access Code: 707172#

ELEPHANT PHARMACY WEDNESDAY GROUP

This group will meet again in January. It is closed for December. (Call in to the phone group on Mondays instead).

DREAM GROUPS

The Saturday drop-in group ($20) is from 10 am to noon at 2315 Prince Street in Berkeley. The nearest major cross street is Ashby and Telegraph. Please let me know if you are coming.

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Best wishes

David Jenkins

Dream RePlay

email: davidj@dreamoftheweek.com

phone: (510) 644 2369

web: http://dreamoftheweek.com