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Dreams and Aggression: Protecting Yourself in Dream World
November 10th, 2006
In
this column:
- Protecting
Yourself in Dream
World
- David
featured in
Washington Post
dream article
- Dial-In
Dream Groups --
one per week
through the
holidays
- Local
Saturday Group
- Share
Dream of the Week
Protecting Yourself in Dream World
One of the strangest thing about dreams--and
I have heard perhaps
10,000 of them--is
that the dreamer is
almost never the
aggressor.
Whether it is verbal or physical hostility,
we frequently
experience ourselves
as the victims or
defenders. But, it is
exceedingly rare that
we attack without
provocation. For
example, "I
was walking by, I hit
him and then walked
on."
In our culture, and perhaps in most
societies, we have the
moral need to avoid
being seen as an
aggressor. Being the
good guy requires
reacting, not
attacking.
Our movies follow the same rule. They cannot
show a good guy using
violence for no
reason. Sylvester
Stallone or Bruce
Willis has to be
damaged or humiliated
before he can wreak
havoc on the screen.
Nor is it just
Hollywood. Alexandre
Dumas' classic novel
of revenge, The Count
of Monte Cristo,
follows the same
pattern.
In dreams, the violence against us is often
much greater than it
is in waking life.
Consequently our
responses can also be
larger-than-life.
Surprisingly, it is generally a very good
sign when the dreamer
does act aggressively.
Noel's Dreams
I dream that I walk out into an amphitheater.
A man pulls a gun on
me. I have a gun but
it's in my left hand
and I am right handed.
I can't do anything.
The man shoots me.
Noel was a practitioner of an Eastern
religion and this was
a very strange
situation for him. He
imagined many
variations. In some he
had the gun at the
ready and shot the
attacker. In others he
was Superman and
deflected the bullets.
I dream that I am fighting another man. No
matter what I do, I
cannot win. He knows
more about fighting;
he always anticipates
my moves. I wake up
knowing I cannot win.
Noel had this dream several times. Each time
we imagined going back
into the dream and
winning the fight.
Finally, he dreamed:
I dream that a man attacks me from behind.
Without thinking, I
automatically reach
behind me and use a
judo hold that I
learned many years
ago. I know that I
have thrown the man to
the floor. I know I
have won.
His dreams of attackers disappeared.
Terry's Dream
The method applies for women equally even
though the level of
violence may be
different.
I dream that my boss makes a crude sexual
pass at me in front of
everyone. I do not
know what to say, I am
very embarrassed, and
the men are laughing
at me.
The dream exaggerated an existing situation.
In Terry’s waking
life, the men in her
office were subtly
treating her as a
sexual trophy to be
won. The dream bluntly
told the truth that
everyone was hiding.
She was able to imagine letting out her anger
in safe,
"unreal"
ways that put her in
touch with the depth
of the matter. As a
consequence, she
became more assertive
in the office and the
men responded by
treating her with more
respect. She created
that respect by
replaying the dream
during her waking
hours and imagining
how she’d really
like to react.
Of course in waking life there are 1,000
reasons, moral and
otherwise, why Terry
could not and should
not respond with
greater aggression
than she received, but
the dream work gave
her this freedom.
Summary: No More Mr/Ms Nice Guy
In your imagination, allow your Dream Self to
engage in conflicts
and to fight back in a
larger-than-life way.
Then, watch the
violence and
aggression in your
dreams decrease.
 WASHINGTON
POST: "Four
Experts Try to Get
Inside Readers'
Heads"
I was a featured expert in an article in a
recent Washington
Post article.
Readers sent in dreams
and several dream
experts made comments
on them.
We were only allowed to read the dreams,
quite a disadvantage.
Regular readers of my
column will notice the
"Movie
method" and
"Continue the
dream"
techniques.
DIAL-IN DREAM GROUPS
For the holiday season, I will only be
holding one telephone
dream group each week.
Whether you live far away or close by, a
phone group allows you
to get a sense of
dream work in a very
convenient way. With
this new work, I hope
to communicate the
pleasure and the
excitement of dream
work to many people.
- Day:
Monday November
13th
- Time:
5pm-6pm Pacific
Daylight Time
- Dial-in
Number:
620-782-2200
(Kansas)
- Access
Code: 707172#
If you know of anyone who might be
interested, please
forward them this
email.
LOCAL DREAM GROUPS
The Saturday drop-in group ($20) is from 10
am to noon at 2315
Prince Street in
Berkeley. The nearest
major cross street is
Ashby and Telegraph.
Please let me know if
you are coming.
SHARE DREAM OF THE WEEK
If you enjoy reading Dream of the Week,
please tell your
friends about it. They
can read back issues
and subscribe (free)
at DreamOfTheWeek.com.
Best wishes
David Jenkins
Dream RePlay
email: davidj@dreamreplay.com
phone: (510) 644 2369
web: http://dreamreplay.com
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