In our busy waking lives with family, work and social obligations, we often find out too late that we are overburdened. Sometimes responsibilities are subtly placed upon us in all kinds of ways that we fail to notice. Fortunately, our dream life will often pick up on the problem, so to speak, before we do. A dream will typically magnify the issue so that the boundaries are blatant and the dream work makes it easy to find better answers. When we looked at the question of responsibility in Janet's dream it clarified matters immediately.

Janet's Dream:

"I dream I am in a large department store. Macys, Nordstrom's, somewhere like that. I go to the bathroom but when I open the door, the place is an incredible disgusting mess. There is shit, dirt and wet toilet paper everywhere. There is no stall that I can use and I am both horrified that I am in this situation and I'm terrified about what I should do about it."

The first question I asked Janet was "Who in the department store is responsible for cleaning the bathrooms?" Immediately, and with great relief, Janet's answer was "Not me." The dream-Janet felt responsible, but this answer revealed quite clearly that she was not. When she thought about what her response (i.e., her responsibility) should be, she decided that she would report the mess to the manager and then go home and use her own bathroom.

The dream made a lot of sense to Janet as she made a connection to her waking life. Some dear friends were denying their financial difficulties and badly needed help. Without their even asking, she nevertheless felt a strong urge to rescue them. The dream and the dreamwork clarified what her role should be. She now had an option to help her friends without hurting herself. In the dream logic, her responsibility was to point out the mess, not to fix it. (If, in the dream, Janet had been a manager in the store, or she owned the shop, then we would have had a different focus: deciding how to clean up the mess.)

Responsibility can be empowering or overpowering. Often the difference is whether you have knowingly accepted it. For instance, you might accept responsibility for the well-being of the entire planet and that might galvanize you into social action. Dreams will warn us when we are disempowered or overburdened and we use the dream work to help decide on the best response.

If you learn to set boundaries in dream situations, you will be more empowered to set them in waking life.

Dream Of The Week is an experimental email from David Jenkins. It has the goal of explaining the benefits of this unique way of working with dreams to as wide an audience as possible. Each email shows one of the many techniques I use and is intended to show the reader how I worked with a particular dream. Please forward this email to anyone who might be interested. (And unsubscribing information is at the bottom of the email.) If you have any feedback for me about Dream of the Week, please send me an email.

Best wishes