So often we are our own worst critic. Our self-criticisms can range from mildly upsetting to devastating. Dreams sometimes allow our critics to come out in full force and leave us feeling worse rather than better. The good news is that these dreams are, so to speak, tailored to our exact situation. With the right dream work, they can lead to pearls of wisdom. Here is an example that, on waking, left the dreamer feeling utterly inadequate but this week's technique, Uncovering The Back Story, freed her from a heavy burden.

Veronica's Dream:

''I dream I am taking a test. My friend Alan is also taking the test. I look over and Alan has answered all 100 questions. I am trying as hard as I can but I am moving very slowly. I have only done three. I feel horrible.''

I asked Veronica to tell the dream from Alan's perspective. In other words, to imagine that Alan had the dream and Veronica appeared as a character in his dream. What would that be like for Alan? Veronica closed her eyes, thought about this, and got ''into'' Alan's mindset. She told the dream as if it was Alan's dream:

''I am taking a test. Veronica is taking it also. It's very easy for me and I just whip through the questions. I see that Veronica is doing it very slowly and that she is very upset. She thinks there's something wrong because she isn't working as fast as me or the other class members. She's going at her own pace. There's nothing wrong with that. There's no hurry. All she has to do is keep at it.''

The kicker for Veronica, the point that really changed her understanding of the dream, is those last three sentences. They told her that whatever her concerns were, she was best off putting them aside; having heard the dream from Alan's perspective, she now knew that she should ignore the undermining thoughts that she ''ought'' to be going faster. She could be assured that what she was doing was the fine. That lifted a load of Veronica's mind.

The dream-Alan's assessment made a crucial difference on how she saw the dream. Instead of ''I'm a failure for not going as fast as the others'' it left her with the internal knowledge that she was going at the pace that was right for her. The anxiety and discomfort that she had felt on awakening vanished.

The Back Story:

We are using a device here that film makers call the ''back story.'' Script writers often need to clarify for themselves what is going on with their characters; what are their the motivations and histories. While the story is being written, the writer can be far from clear about what is happening and why. To keep their own story on a straight line they will create a ''back story'' to fill in the plot for themselves. So, for their own benefit, they will compose brief stories or biographies of important characters describing these behind the scenes matters. Often the back story will become a story of its own: the Star Wars series and many others are ways of filling in the endless gaps that are found in any one story.

We assume we have the whole story when we tell a dream but the back story often provides crucial, missing pieces.

Letting Dream Characters Speak For Themselves:

I can't fully explain why this technique works but it does, and powerfully so. ''Being'' the different characters from the dream – telling their back stories -- gives you options. When these dream characters talk, they have a ring of authority: You know you can trust what they say. In this case, Alan's back story was a clear signal to Veronica that she could relax and trust what she was doing. It convinced Veronica that even when the world looks grim, she can have faith in herself.

Next time you have an upsetting dream, consider asking other characters to replay the dream and see what you learn from them.

About Dream Of The Week:

Dream Of The Week is an experimental email from David Jenkins. It has the goal of explaining the benefits of this unique way of working with dreams to as wide an audience as possible. Please forward this email to anyone who might be interested. (And unsubscribing information is at the bottom of the email.) If you have any feedback for me about Dream Of The Week, please send me an email.

Best wishes